EST. THE DAY YOUR PORTFOLIO STOPPED BLEEDING

R.I.P.

WORLD ASSET

A cemetery for coins that already died.
We do not resurrect them. We give them a headstone.

“My portfolio isn’t bleeding anymore.
It reached R.I.P. World Asset status.”

the sky follows your local clock · everything you can see is clickable _

†$LUNC-99.99%2022†$FTT-98.9%2022†$SQUID-100.0%2021†$CEL-99.4%2022†$TITAN-100.0%2021†$SAFEMOON-99.9%2023†$BCC-99.9%2018†$GRIFT-100.0%2024†$WAGMI69-99.7%2024†$NEXT100X-100.0%2025†$HODLR-99.8%2023†$LAMBO2-99.6%2025†$LUNC-99.99%2022†$FTT-98.9%2022†$SQUID-100.0%2021†$CEL-99.4%2022†$TITAN-100.0%2021†$SAFEMOON-99.9%2023†$BCC-99.9%2018†$GRIFT-100.0%2024†$WAGMI69-99.7%2024†$NEXT100X-100.0%2025†$HODLR-99.8%2023†$LAMBO2-99.6%2025

WHY THIS EXISTS

I LOST THE MONEY. I KEPT THE RECEIPTS.

R.I.P. — Rest In Peace. On the western internet it stopped being solemn a long time ago. Now it is what you post under a chart that has flatlined, a project whose Discord has gone quiet, a screenshot of a balance that used to mean something. Black humour with a funeral wreath on it.

I have posted it a lot. Not ironically enough, in hindsight. I bought coins that went to zero — not down 80%, zero. Accounts drained, accounts frozen, one exchange that simply stopped answering. At some point I stopped feeling anything about it, which is either enlightenment or damage. I looked at the balance and understood that my financial life had quietly and completely rested in peace.

Everyone in this industry builds the same thing: a launchpad that promises the next one will be different. I wanted the opposite — a place that starts at the end. No roadmap to the moon. Nothing minted, nothing sold. A cemetery, properly maintained, where every coin that killed my savings gets a headstone with its name on it and stays there forever.

Then it opens to everyone. Your dead coin, your epitaph, your plot. A yard full of strangers who lost money in exactly the way you did, standing around laughing at their own graves. That is the entire product. That is it.

THE JOKE

Every launchpad on earth sells you the top. This one sells you a plot. Same industry, honest packaging.

PROOF OF DEATH

A plot costs one percent of the coin’s entire supply, lowered into the ground. Ruinous for a living coin. Free for a dead one. Nobody has to rule on whether your bag is a corpse — the tithe decides, and the tithe cannot be argued with.

THE INVITATION

Then it opens up. You bury yours, you write the epitaph, and the yard fills with strangers who lost money exactly the way you did. Grief, but permissionless.

GLOSSARY FOR VISITORS

THREE WORDS YOU WILL NEED

韭菜 — “CHIVES”: What Chinese retail traders call themselves. Chives are the crop you cut down, and then they grow back, and then you cut them down again. The most accurate word for retail in any language — nobody in the West has one this good.
归零 — “RETURN TO ZERO”: Not a dip. Not a drawdown. The number is zero and it is staying there. Every resident of this cemetery qualifies for the plot.
R.I.P. WORLD ASSET: A status, not a price. What your bag becomes when it has transcended volatility entirely. It cannot go down. It has arrived.

THE RITE — SHIPS IN PHASE 2

THREE STEPS. ALL OF THEM DOWNHILL.

CLAIM THE PLOT

Any coin that went to zero, if nobody got there first. There is one grave per coin and there will only ever be one.

CARVE THE EPITAPH

The date it died, what killed it, and your last words to it — written into the chain, permanent. Nobody can edit a headstone. That is rather the point of them.

PAY THE TITHE

One percent of the coin's entire supply goes into the ground. Exactly that — the contract works it out. If one percent is expensive, your coin is not dead yet and does not belong here.

THE DEED

The headstone is yours. It is also an NFT, so you can sell it, and somebody will probably want it — because you are not holding a picture of a grave. You are holding the deed to the only grave $LUNC is ever going to have. First mourner takes the plot. After that the ground is closed.

THE PLOTS

SIX WAYS TO LOSE EVERYTHING

DEATH SPIRAL

2 INTERRED

The math ate itself.

Backed by nothing but confidence and a second token that was also backed by nothing. Beautiful on the whitepaper. Fatal in production.

$LUNC-99.99%$TITAN-100.0%

RUG PULL

3 INTERRED

The liquidity left before you did.

One wallet held 94% of supply and you called that 'strong conviction from the team'. The pool was drained at 4 a.m. while you slept soundly.

$SQUID-100.0%$GRIFT-100.0%$NEXT100X-100.0%

EXCHANGE IMPLOSION

2 INTERRED

Your keys were never your keys.

You did everything right except the one thing. The withdrawal button turned grey and stayed grey. Somewhere, a balance sheet was a group chat.

$FTT-98.9%$CEL-99.4%

SLOW BLEED

2 INTERRED

No event. Just entropy.

Nobody hacked it. Nobody rugged it. It simply went down 4% a week for two years while you told yourself it was accumulating.

$SAFEMOON-99.9%$LAMBO2-99.6%

FOUNDER VANISHED

2 INTERRED

Last seen: Telegram. Deleted.

The roadmap had four quarters. The founder had one flight. The Discord is still up, run by a mod named 'ChadJanitor' who also doesn't know anything.

$BCC-99.9%$HODLR-99.8%

DIED OF BOREDOM

1 INTERRED

Nobody rugged it. Nobody cared.

The saddest plot in the yard. The tech worked. The team shipped. Zero people showed up. It is still technically alive, which is somehow worse.

$WAGMI69-99.7%

In phase 2 these stop being a taxonomy and start being filters — every grave in the ground, sorted by how it died and how long it lived rather than by market cap. Market cap is zero. That was never the interesting number.

THE PLAN

WE ARE BURYING THIS SITE IN STAGES, TOO.

PHASE 1THE WAKE[*] LIVE

One page. A cemetery, a manifesto, and a taxonomy of ways your money can die. Nothing to buy. Nothing to connect. You are here.

PHASE 2THE BURIAL[ ] NEXT

The ground opens. Claim a plot for a coin that died, carve its epitaph into the chain, and lower one percent of its entire supply into the grave — Proof of Death, no oracle required. One coin, one grave, first mourner takes it. No token is launched. Nothing is minted for sale. The only on-chain action here is putting something in the ground. The site gets its second page — The Yard: every grave, sorted by how it died and how long it lived. Not by market cap. Market cap is zero. That was never the interesting number.

PHASE 3THE PROCESSION[ ] LATER

The yard turns social, then it stops being ours. Hall of Shame leaderboards ranked by what is actually in the ground, an obituary wall, and headstones you can hand to someone else. Then the plots go fully permissionless: anyone buries anything, nobody asks us first, and the yard grows without a caretaker. We just mow the grass.

FOUNDING RESIDENTS — 12 PLOTS RESERVED

THEY ARE NOT COMING BACK. THAT IS THE POINT.

TICKER	DECEASED	DRAWDOWN	YEAR	EPITAPH
$LUNC	TERRA LUNA CLASSIC	-99.99%	2022	Algorithmically guaranteed. Algorithmically gone.
$FTT	FTX TOKEN	-98.9%	2022	The balance sheet was a group chat.
$SQUID	SQUID GAME TOKEN	-100.0%	2021	You could buy. That was the whole game.
$CEL	CELSIUS	-99.4%	2022	Unbank yourself, they said.
$TITAN	IRON TITANIUM	-100.0%	2021	The world's first large-scale bank run. On a Tuesday.
$SAFEMOON	SAFEMOON	-99.9%	2023	Safe. Moon. Pick zero.
$BCC	BITCONNECT	-99.9%	2018	BITCONNEEEEEECT. And then silence.
$GRIFT	GRIFT PROTOCOL	-100.0%	2024	The name was right there the entire time.
$WAGMI69	WAGMI INU 69	-99.7%	2024	We were, in fact, not gonna make it.
$NEXT100X	NEXT 100X GEM	-100.0%	2025	It did 100x. Downward. Technically a success.
$HODLR	HODLR FINANCE	-99.8%	2023	Diamond hands. Paper founder.
$LAMBO2	LAMBO 2.0	-99.6%	2025	Version 1.0 also did not buy a Lambo.

Numbers approximate and unaudited, like everything else in this industry. Causes of death are editorial opinion, delivered with love.

QUESTIONS FROM THE MOURNERS

YES, IT IS A JOKE. NO, IT IS NOT ONLY A JOKE.

+ IS THERE A TOKEN?

No. Phase 1 has nothing to buy, nothing to connect, and nobody to pay. If someone DMs you a contract address for this, they are lying and you already knew that.

+ SO WHAT HAPPENS ON-CHAIN, EXACTLY?

You name a dead coin, you carve an epitaph, and exactly 1% of your bag goes into the plot. A headstone gets minted to you — the art lives in the contract, not on a server, so the cemetery outlives this website. No new coin is created. Nothing goes up for sale.

+ ONE PERCENT OF THE WHOLE SUPPLY? THAT SOUNDS EXPENSIVE.

For a living coin it is ruinous. For a dead one it costs approximately nothing, and that is the entire mechanism. We call it Proof of Death. No oracle, no committee, no vote — if you can afford the tithe, the coin is dead, and if you cannot, it is merely down. Down does not get a plot. The price of the grave is the proof.

+ WHAT IF SOMEBODY ALREADY BURIED MY COIN?

Then it is buried and you are too late. One coin, one grave, forever. You can go and buy the headstone off whoever got there first, if they will part with it. That is the only way in.

+ ARE THE BURIED TOKENS BURNED?

No. A grave holds a body. The tokens sit in the ground where nobody can reach them, which for your purposes is the same as burned, and for ours is not the same at all.

+ CAN I BURY MY OWN?

That is the whole plan. Phase 2 opens it to anyone. Phase 3 removes us from the loop entirely.

+ IS THIS FINANCIAL ADVICE?

It is a cemetery. The financial advice is engraved on every stone and it says 'you should have sold'.

+ IS THIS MAKING FUN OF ME?

It is making fun of me. You are welcome to join. The whole design principle here is that we laugh first, so nobody else gets to.

NOTHING TO BUY YET.

No presale. No allocation. No wallet connect. No Telegram admin sliding into your DMs.
Just a cemetery, a bad joke, and a phase 2.

Come back for the burial. Bring your worst trade.